My French Press is Better Than Your Pour-over

Look, we need to have a talk. It’s about your coffee. I know how you go on and on about the supposed virtues of a pour-over coffee system. About how it’s conveniently portable, and not that hard to make, really. About how the flavor is full, the fragrance is “aromatic” and all of that.

It’s really not.

The truth of the matter is this. My French press is better than your pour-over.

Let me elaborate.

Portability

It is true that pour-over systems can be portable. I will concede that with the proper precautions your fragile glass carafe can survive the journey from point a to point b. But my press is made from metal and can survive the ravages of the road. I do not worry about packing it nice and neat. I need no padding to ensure its survival. It is a warrior, clad in armor and impervious to the dangers of travel. I laugh at your claims of superiority.

Ha.

Ease of Use

You say that your pour over is no trouble at all. Simply heat the water to just boiling and lightly wet the paper filters. Allow the coffee to bloom. Pour, then wait. Pour, then wait. Pour, then….

Are you serious? Are we still doing this? Why do you torture me when all I want is a basic cup of coffee?

The Press is such a simple device. I drop the coffee inside. I follow it with hot water. I put on the lid and wait a few minutes. Press, and pour.

There is no paper. My coffee does not need to “bloom.” It is not a flower.

Flavor

I am so glad that you have sourced the finest beans for your pour-over. That the water you used is pure spring water from that one place in Iceland. That your ratios are perfect and your timing impeccable.

Your coffee still tastes inferior to mine.

Of course the quality of ingredients matters, but let’s be honest. If a single thing is off about your technique, the flavor suffers for it. The French press is forgiving. It is merciful.

I could use expired ground coffee from a restaurant supplier and my coffee would taste great. (And I have) The French press does not just make coffee. It elevates it.

How does your coffee taste? I’m still waiting to find out.